I think of Coby. I close my eyes. I don’t see or hear a train screaming down the tracks. It’s a brilliant breakthrough that I am eternally grateful to have experienced. I no longer have to rip my eyes open and calm my racing heart.
I think of Coby and a lovely thought mingles with the residual sadness leaving me with a bittersweet warmth. It still seems unreal. It still couldn’t have happened to us, but it did. My little one put it best when she said that now when she thinks of Coby she isn’t sad anymore, but that she feels happy. Time beginning to heal.
I’d be foolish to think that there aren’t going to be many moments when the old feelings surface, but today I’m so, so, so grateful that they have given way and allow me to see another possibility. I miss Coby. I love Coby. Eternally 18 and eternally in my heart. I guess that will have to be enough.
Heart Twitch 
Yes, Tanya, he is Eternally 18, and yes, Tanya, that will have to be enough. What a spectacular Soul he is, and such tremendous memories we will always have of him. ~ Sammy
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So glad to hear that you have moved to the second step.
As with my beloved mom I thought the pain will never go away but slowly I moved into the second step. The circumstances are different of course! I now understand and feel things that I never thought I would. God has giving me the strength to carry on. I know that the final step will be when I will be reunited with her in heaven where I will have eternal peace and happiness.
I pray for God to hold you when you feel you can’t go on anymore when you feel that awful pain in your heart 💙🙏
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